Tuesday, January 25, 2011

That insanity is sure insane.

7028.) I tell people I don’t like him anymore. I tell myself I don’t like him anymore. But when I lost him, my heart began to feel this unbearable pain. Was it love? Was it lust? Or was it just losing something I’d been longing for, someone who showed care, understanding, and love? This disconnection is making me lonely. I wish things could go back to the way they used to be.

If some lives form a perfect circle, other take shape in ways we cannot predict or always understand. Loss has been part of my journey. But it has also shown me what is precious. So has love for which I can only be grateful.
- Message in a Bottle.

I cannot believe its been a month. a month since the worst two things couldve happened at the same time. a month of nothing but a blur. a month of starting over relationship wise, and never moving foreward friendship wise. a month of a million memories, a month of a billion tears. the first month of 2k11 has been the hardest. and i know its only going to get harder. i know this, and yet i feel theres no way imaginable to prepare for it. and god im so scared to forget anything, im so scared to let go. 

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