Party tonight for johns bdays!! He'll be 25 woot! Haha ash is here and my sister! Haha I think ash has became my new bff she taught me how to tumble hah and last night was so fun I can't wait for tonight lol(:
future is looking bright.
I got a bandaid for zackky.
I know he'd be trippin and lovin it to the fullest
I miss him More and more everyday.
And I miss HIM more or less everyday.
Depends how busy I keep myself.
To determine how much I think of HIM.
But Zack never leaves my mind
kinda like he's still here eVeryday like he used to be
before he left.
Plenty of traveling in the future
2k11 will be full of new friends and expierences in life(:
have to keep my head up and follow the arrow
which is forever pointing forward in the right direction.
uhhh so much going on it's crazy and I have money almost constantly now
I guess leaving wasn't the worst thing that HE couldve done
instead it made me start over fresh new person
but losing Zack made me realize a few things
made me realize when I die I want ppl to remember me for being that
fun adventourous person
that crazy outgoing girl
who was never mean but always straight foreward
Zack made me realize I wasn't living right!
So everything has changed
and I live who I found in this mess.
I'm surrounded everyday by beautiful amazing people
who actually care and didn't leave me in my darkest days.
Who actually help me everyday to push foreward.
I had a dream about Zack the other night and basically he kept telling me "I love you. I miss you. I'm here for you no matter what. I got your last text and you know how it said 'i'll always wait for you' looks like I'm waiting for you now. I'm so proud of you for remembering me and keeping my memory alive for making an effort to e ok cause I want you happy. Don't ever think I'm not listening." and I asked him why he kept saying it like as if he died and he looked at me with that Zack grin hugged me and said "I love you smaa. I'll always be here andbhave your back. Remember everything I've told you!" and I woke up and couldn't make it out of bed before I fell apart all over again. When he died half of me died with him.
Just thought I'd share. I needed to tell someone, get it out.
But I'm gna go do some laundry (: