Thursday, February 10, 2011

if you lose your mind do you get a new one?

so here it goes.
i believe im slowely but surely losing my mind.
i stutter alot now, esp when im nervous, i shake sometimes, and my mind is never ever organized.
the thoughts i have sometimes only make sense to me.
these random things eat away at my mind.
i feel like im losing it.
i dont want to do anything crazy i just always feel like i cant organize my thoughts.
i feel like something is in there and its running through scrambling up my mind all the time.
my thoughts race a hundred mies a minute.
and half the time i cant finish one thought without moving onto something else.
add is in full gear.
the only things that dwell are either zack thoughts, or love life thoughts.
and even then zack thoughts are the only ones that stay very long,
then i fall into depression.
i have waves of it lately instead of full on all the time.
i improve and then i fall back to square one.
i feel like theres noone who gets me, or what im going through.
i feel like im alone 80% of the time.
the other 20% is only cause i force myself around people.
im very grateful for those understanding ppl.
and the ones who back me 100% no matter what my decision.
whether its something as stupid as smoking, or something i want like my moustache tattoo.
theyre amazing.
but im still alone.
im scared to be alone.
alone in my own head i might lose myself.
so i was thinking if you lose your mind, do you have to g find it?
or do you get a new one?
is that how people find themselves?
or go totally insane?

cause im on my way to one of them.

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